Trapped in the Land of the Free

Lately I've been thinking a lot about my future--about success and happiness. I have really been wondering whether I want to make it in a conventional way, or whether to go off the beaten track to make my mark on the world. I've always known that I have a special potential--but what have I been doing with it? Is it just naivete? Everyone thinks they're special and that they're going to do something big to change the world. Then, they live out their lives to find that they've been trapped within the confines of societal convention.

I don't want to be that way.

I came to college because that's what I thought you need to do in order to be successful. But that's not always true. If I found my success in another way, school (which I hate anyway) would be more of an option than an obvious step. So after college, then what? Start from the bottom and reach my peak of success at 35, then plateau for the rest of my life? That sounds really terrible. I want to get to a position where I have power and influence early in life, so I can spend the rest of my life making productive changes. You need both power and influence--in other words, money--to make a real difference in the capitalist society of individualism that we work within.

There's a certain pull to the entertainment industry, because the audience is so large and widespread. And most of all, impressionable. Even the uneducated, the specialized, and the so-called isolated are affected by the messages from advertisements and the mainstream media. I want to be recognizable--famous by name (face isn't so important) so that I can give a voice to the unfortunate victims of circumstance. To make a change--a real noticeable difference and not just live a mediocre life and be forgotten when you die--you have to play by the rules to succeed in the world that we live in now--a world controlled by big companies, large banks and government officials. And if I don't get there, how can I live a life under the circumstances I exist within that I find worthwhile? What can I do for a long time that I enjoy, and can make money from?

Somehow, I don't think continuing along the conventional path will satisfy me. Too much build up and due-payment to end up somewhere that may not be worth it. Our generation's visionaries didn't do what the world told them--most dropped out of school to pursue their ideas. My problem is I don't have an idea or talent to run away with, and I spend all my time distracted by useless school to be able to come up with it. At the end of the day, I've always seen myself to become a name the world recognizes.

So, the question is...how do I get there?